Thursday, March 25, 2010


I really cannot stop listening to this song. Not to mention the music video is really amusing. 

Coin Laundry by Lisa Mitchell
To me she's like M.I.A. and Regina Spektor combined.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010


What I've been listening to today:

Circa Survive
Norma Jean 

Chad's coming over again today. I want him to make a video with me but he'll probably refuse since he believes he's awkward. I always have to take pictures of him when he doesn't expect me to. He always looks unprepared. Ohh well. 


Tuesday, March 23, 2010


 I'm drawing a blank and I'm busy today. These are semi old pictures of Harmony, Chad's cat. Renamed Herman. We only realized recently that Harmony has balls. Ignore the poor lighting. That is the coffee table Chad built.

Monday, March 22, 2010


offending you is not my intention.

Today, it rained. 
Normally I don't entirely enjoy the rain but today, I loved it. 
I spent my day sitting in my unusually clean bedroom with the window cracked open, listening to the rain and Modest Mouse. I think Modest Mouse should add the sound of rain to the background of all their songs. I ignored the computer apart from the minute I took to look up papier mache recipes but ended up painting my ceiling fan.. although I only got two fan blades done and the one, I think, is fucking ugly. Today, I felt at peace and carefree. I didn't straighten my hair and I purposely back-combed it with the addition of three tiny braids and a plastic yellow bow barrette from when I was probably five. I did not put mascara on my bottom lashes and I applied extra tacky pink blush and to be honest with you, I felt beautiful. It's been a while since I've really felt that way. Today my boyfriend came over and laid in my bed with me while the breeze coming through the window blew my curtains in towards the room. And today, when he said I looked beautiful, I really heard him. He looked cute today, he shaved his mustache. He looked like a little boy again. It made me happy. We were both happy.
I really cannot wait for summer, although, I'm sure I'll be trying to catch up on school. But I can't wait to take a road trip up to the cabin and smell the woods and step foot in the lake surrounded by walls of pine trees that make me feel safe and stay up late around the campfire burning marshmallows and watching leaves disintegrate and listening to owls at night and doves in the morning when I wake up and the smell of dew is in the air and the woods are still and motionless and if I stand still in them long enough I feel like I'm standing in a room plastered with woods pattern wallpaper until the sounds of trees swaying in the wind come back into my ears. 
I cannot wait to go to the ocean and hear the waves and look out over the vast expanse of water and hear the gulls and smell that rotten yet fresh salty water smell and search for shells like I did when I was little and didn't understand the world. 
I just cannot wait any longer. 
The future is too bright. 
I really need to go to a flea market soon. I've been wanting to find some ornate, gaudy, antique picture frames. I think they'll inspire me to make more art. 
Sorry for the long post. I just have so much on my mind and I felt like writing. 

Friday, March 19, 2010



It's been a while.

I've been drawing tattoo designs. 

I decided to eat with chop sticks no matter what I eat. For me, they're much easier to use. 

I've also been listening to Botch, they're no longer a band but they are indeed metal-core pioneers. Their song Japam is one of my favorites. 
Six chevy's in our front yard, a thousand empty Coors, is all it takes to make me different
And it's like you never knew the effect it had on you
Pop another top. Today's lesson how to live with these cracked out mutha fuckas
And it's like they never knew the effect they had on you
Mom's cookin' shit in bed, no angels for the living dead
Light the propane
Boiling the medicine, taste it is it done
I've only done it a couple times, so take this pill for me
Give your daddy a hand
Open the batteries like I showed you
Precious lithium I own you like you own this single wide lot.

"A house fine in the town of Roy took the lives of two children.

The parents made it out of the single wide trailer home without a scratch.
See they were too busy trying to save their crop of Meth that had started the fire.
Too busy to get their kids out."
Now if those aren't some hardcore lyrics I don't know what are. 
listen to it if you think it's your taste. 
Along with the chopsticks and hardcore musik, I've been scanning through pictures on websites that I'd like to keep secret. I hate reading but I love looking at pictures. Words are boring, unless I choose which order they go in. Pictures, tell me stories. 
I've been writing a lot lately. 

Sometimes I wonder how long it will take for me to convince you that you're sexy and how many times I'll have to explain to you that if my love for you were a liquid it would overflow the oceans until you understand and how far I can push your taste buds when I cook you strange foods that turn out bad most of the time. Every time I start a new journal, I promise myself that not every page will have to do with you but that always fails and I end up keeping track of our lives together. Some people say that we're too young to be in love but I think the best time to be in love is when a person is young. 
I love your sensitivity and your indecisiveness and your silly denial because you know you have a beautiful soul, you're just too modest to admit it. I love the way you dress. I love the way you undress. I love your little mustache and the scruffle on your chin that tickles when you kiss me. I love that sometimes when I look at you I see the little boy you once were. I love how we think each other is too good for ourselves which makes us just right. 
You push me and I'll jump, you lead me and I'll follow, you build me wings and I'll fly to you. You wouldn't though because we're both scared of heights. You call me 'Woman' like I am one. Darling, I'm a child with you. You know me. Except for the fact that
It's ordinary and cliché but you can never go wrong when writing about love when you're in it. 
Thank the Heavens the weather has improved. 
Auf Wiedersehen.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010


Hallo, und Guten Abend!

The weekend slipped on by and no one really seemed to notice. I had a creative spell and did a series of two paintings. I'm actually quite pleased with them considering I painted them in a less than twenty-four hour time period. Let me know what you think. I thrive on constructive criticism. 

Another poem is on the way. 

Auf Wiedersehen.

Friday, February 19, 2010


 Gosh, it's finally the weekend. This week went pretty slow. I'm not sure why I'm surprised by that. I spent most of today with school but had some time to draw instead of going to art class (I didn't feel well but I assure you, I am fine now) so I did a woman's profile. I just need some new paints to finish it. 

I am proud to say that I actually have plans tonight. Allison and I are making brownies and watching Juno. Let me just say that you're right, we are losers.(By the way, you can get a hamburger phone on I'm sure we won't watch the whole thing and we'll end up doing something more lame. Like dancing. And I'm also sure that we won't even bake the brownies because there won't be enough of the deliciously, disgusting looking batter left. Hmm have a nice Friday.

Thursday, February 18, 2010


 I'm watching Chowder. It's a cartoon. I hate cartoons. Except Chowder. The graphics are quite entertaining.


I am stuck. My days are boring and vague.
So here is one of many lists to come because of my love for listography.

List of people I would like to meet and why:

1. Yoni Wolf (a.k.a. Jonathan Wolf, frontman of the Berkeley, California band Why?) because I would love to get inside his head and see where those lyrics come from.

I am currently listening to the song, Light Leaves.

2. Michael Perry. His art is amazing.
I would recommend buying his books Hand Job and Over&Over. However, I will say that I was disappointed with his iron-on t-shirt designs. The designs are amazing but the iron-ons don't go on so well.

3. Danny Davis. What can I say.. he's quite attractive(at least in my opinion. I sorta have a thing for long hair and beards) and he's a great snowboarder.

4. My grandfather who died when my mom was eleven. I'm sure I don't need to give a reason for this.

5. Kat Von D. I love her work. It's beautiful and classy.

6. Oliver Sykes. (frontman of the band Bring Me The Horizon) Yes, I'll admit that I occasionally listen to their music, but no, I am not a crazed and obsessed fan. The main reason I would like to meet him is more of an experiment to see how many of those Oli-obsessed fans would comment the picture of me standing next to him on facebook without tears in my eyes or any excitement in my face. Come on kids, that guy is a dick.

7. Nessa K. I love watching her vlog and would love to tell her how inspiring she is. At least I think so. And yes, I do watch YouTube. Is that so bad?

8. Johnny Depp. I love his movies. Let me rephrase that, I LOVE LOVE LOVE HIS MOVIES. Who doesn't? And I admire how he keeps his life pretty private.

That's about all could think of. I could add quite a few more musicians but the list would get repetitive.

List of places I wish I was instead of here:

1. Barnes & Noble. God I love that place. I haven't picked up an Alternative Press or Transworld Skateboarding magazine in forever.

2. Downtown in an art gallery or small boutique just to see if I can find some new treasures for cheap.

3. Chad's new house, helping him paint his walls. I believe he's painting them green. His first choice was red but I stated my negative opinion about the color and changed his mind. Red doesn't help to calm high-strung, stressed out people.. and he is one of them.

4. H&M. I haven't gone shopping in a while. I need some new jeans.

I promise that as soon as I go somewhere interesting and take some good pictures I'll post about it.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010


Today has gone quite slowly. It was spent staring at my computer screen and sipping cold coffee from a 70's rainbow mug while I attempted to make a complicated "friendship" bracelet. It's turning out all right aside from the fact that I totally screwed it up, first try. I cannot stand the cold weather anymore. I miss being able to walk in the fresh air outside without a coat on and run around in the summer rain... winter is going so so slow. I don't really have any big plans in the next couple of months. I've been meaning to go to a flea market to try and increase my skeleton key collection but they exist more towards spring when there's nicer weather.

I suppose one entertaining thing right now is the Olympics.. if you're into sports. For me all I really care about is the men's snowboarding cross and half-pipe run. Women's is alright. I've been a big fan of Shaun White for a long time until recently. It's not that I don't like him it's just that I tend to go against what's popular. For example, Twilight, ick.

This weekend should be alright. Chad and I might go see Shutter Island. I need to revive the horror film fanatic in me and I'm particularly excited for this one. I've always loved Leo and lighthouses really do scare me. The last horror I saw was Paranormal activity. It was horrible and not one bit scary so do not see it.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010



Ocean turns to concrete in a sea of broken buildings. Shadows fall on the day in little tides. The sun fades from black to gray to white and back again to shining. Wall of questions builds in my mind like the wall of bricks that towers overhead. Sea of people so fast, never running out. Run away. Bleeding salt water. Burning. Stinging. Fading. Drying out. Rising higher and higher and then come crashing down. City lights dance like rain in the distance. The sounds so unbearably loud that they blur to a silence like a cold, damp forest or whispers from beyond. Not at all peaceful but rather eerie sounds. Snap out of my daze and face the cold, harsh reality before my gaze.

Monday, February 15, 2010


"Junge, Sie hören nie auf, mich in Erstaunen zu setzen, und ich liebe Sie."
Yesterday was Valentine's Day and this is the first year that I don't hate the day. I am currently broke so I made my boyfriend a cherry pie. Now understand that I have never made an actual pie with a delicious, flaky crust before (Graham Cracker crusts were all I was familiar with) so I was worried about how it would turn out. I am proud to say that my pie was good and I did not actually burn it. They do say that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach... and in my case this is particularly true. Lately I have been slowly trying to put together a portfolio for school. The problem is that I haven't been to my art class for almost a week due to the wonderful "blizzard" that has covered all the roads in almost two feet of snow. I am usually a fan of winter but right now warm weather sounds pretty fucking nice.