HAVE YOU GOT A LITTLE OLD HOUSE IN A LEMON TREE?

I really cannot stop listening to this song. Not to mention the music video is really amusing. 



Coin Laundry by Lisa Mitchell
To me she's like M.I.A. and Regina Spektor combined.

TIME TAKES IT'S TOLL ON US, THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING...

What I've been listening to today:

Circa Survive

Nirvana

Norma Jean 

Underoath

Chad's coming over again today. I want him to make a video with me but he'll probably refuse since he believes he's awkward. I always have to take pictures of him when he doesn't expect me to. He always looks unprepared. Ohh well. 

Example:

HERMAN.

 I'm drawing a blank and I'm busy today. These are semi old pictures of Harmony, Chad's cat. Renamed Herman. We only realized recently that Harmony has balls. Ignore the poor lighting. That is the coffee table Chad built.

WHEN I WAS LITTLE, MY MOM TOLD ME RAIN WAS GOD CRYING.

offending you is not my intention.

Today, it rained. 
Normally I don't entirely enjoy the rain but today, I loved it. 
I spent my day sitting in my unusually clean bedroom with the window cracked open, listening to the rain and Modest Mouse. I think Modest Mouse should add the sound of rain to the background of all their songs. I ignored the computer apart from the minute I took to look up papier mache recipes but ended up painting my ceiling fan.. although I only got two fan blades done and the one, I think, is fucking ugly. Today, I felt at peace and carefree. I didn't straighten my hair and I purposely back-combed it with the addition of three tiny braids and a plastic yellow bow barrette from when I was probably five. I did not put mascara on my bottom lashes and I applied extra tacky pink blush and to be honest with you, I felt beautiful. It's been a while since I've really felt that way. Today my boyfriend came over and laid in my bed with me while the breeze coming through the window blew my curtains in towards the room. And today, when he said I looked beautiful, I really heard him. He looked cute today, he shaved his mustache. He looked like a little boy again. It made me happy. We were both happy.

I really cannot wait for summer, although, I'm sure I'll be trying to catch up on school. But I can't wait to take a road trip up to the cabin and smell the woods and step foot in the lake surrounded by walls of pine trees that make me feel safe and stay up late around the campfire burning marshmallows and watching leaves disintegrate and listening to owls at night and doves in the morning when I wake up and the smell of dew is in the air and the woods are still and motionless and if I stand still in them long enough I feel like I'm standing in a room plastered with woods pattern wallpaper until the sounds of trees swaying in the wind come back into my ears. 
I cannot wait to go to the ocean and hear the waves and look out over the vast expanse of water and hear the gulls and smell that rotten yet fresh salty water smell and search for shells like I did when I was little and didn't understand the world. 
I just cannot wait any longer. 
The future is too bright. 

I really need to go to a flea market soon. I've been wanting to find some ornate, gaudy, antique picture frames. I think they'll inspire me to make more art. 

Sorry for the long post. I just have so much on my mind and I felt like writing. 

"I HOPE TO YOU DON'T SAY GOODBYE, RATHER SEE YOU LATER."

 

It's been a while.

I've been drawing tattoo designs. 

I decided to eat with chop sticks no matter what I eat. For me, they're much easier to use. 

I've also been listening to Botch, they're no longer a band but they are indeed metal-core pioneers. Their song Japam is one of my favorites. 

Lyrics:

Six chevy's in our front yard, a thousand empty Coors, is all it takes to make me different
And it's like you never knew the effect it had on you
Pop another top. Today's lesson how to live with these cracked out mutha fuckas
And it's like they never knew the effect they had on you
Mom's cookin' shit in bed, no angels for the living dead
Light the propane
Boiling the medicine, taste it is it done
I've only done it a couple times, so take this pill for me
Give your daddy a hand
Open the batteries like I showed you
Precious lithium I own you like you own this single wide lot.

"A house fine in the town of Roy took the lives of two children.
The parents made it out of the single wide trailer home without a scratch.
See they were too busy trying to save their crop of Meth that had started the fire.
Too busy to get their kids out."

Now if those aren't some hardcore lyrics I don't know what are. 

listen to it if you think it's your taste. 

Along with the chopsticks and hardcore musik, I've been scanning through pictures on websites that I'd like to keep secret. I hate reading but I love looking at pictures. Words are boring, unless I choose which order they go in. Pictures, tell me stories. 

I've been writing a lot lately. 

Sometimes I wonder how long it will take for me to convince you that you're sexy and how many times I'll have to explain to you that if my love for you were a liquid it would overflow the oceans until you understand and how far I can push your taste buds when I cook you strange foods that turn out bad most of the time. Every time I start a new journal, I promise myself that not every page will have to do with you but that always fails and I end up keeping track of our lives together. Some people say that we're too young to be in love but I think the best time to be in love is when a person is young. 

I love your sensitivity and your indecisiveness and your silly denial because you know you have a beautiful soul, you're just too modest to admit it. I love the way you dress. I love the way you undress. I love your little mustache and the scruffle on your chin that tickles when you kiss me. I love that sometimes when I look at you I see the little boy you once were. I love how we think each other is too good for ourselves which makes us just right. 

You push me and I'll jump, you lead me and I'll follow, you build me wings and I'll fly to you. You wouldn't though because we're both scared of heights. You call me 'Woman' like I am one. Darling, I'm a child with you. You know me. Except for the fact that

It's ordinary and cliché but you can never go wrong when writing about love when you're in it. 

Thank the Heavens the weather has improved. 

Auf Wiedersehen.